Adopting a new cat should be an exciting time in your life! We all have visions of bringing home a sweet, cuddly friend that will delight us with their antics and spend time with us on the couch.
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You should absolutely consider how your cat’s personality will fit in with your household. If you have a busy house with an active family, then perhaps a nervous cat isn’t the right fit. If you are a single person and out of the house a lot, then a young, active cat would probably not be happy in that type of environment.
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Sometimes, we go into adoption with a perfect cat in mind but come home with something entirely different. In 2023, I lost my two elderly cats within a few months of each other. I knew I would adopt again, but I wanted to give myself some time to grieve. While I was without a cat, I was thinking about what I wanted in my next cat.
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I wanted two cats so they could have company, and I know from experience that cat introductions can be very difficult. I don’t have the time and energy for kittens, so I decided that I wanted to adopt an adult
bonded pair. I love tabbies, in particular the orange ones, so I thought a male pair of tabbies would be great. As far as personalities go, I was interested in a pair that was well-socialized and confident.
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As I started looking, the only pairs I was finding were kittens. I was tempted, but then I
came across this sweet-looking cat that had already gone through a lot in her first two years. She was found when she was in labor and having a difficult time birthing her kittens. She ended up having a C-section to save her life. Then, it was discovered that she had skin cancer in her ears, and they had to be removed.
I am also a cancer survivor and had to have a double mastectomy, so I understood what it feels like to have your body altered to save your life. I thought she was adorable, but I knew that many people would not be interested in adopting her because she isn’t conventionally cute. So, I ended up setting up a time to meet her!
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When we met, she was very nervous and hid the whole time. I was able to see that she was very docile, and from the videos that her foster mom made, I could see that she was playful and affectionate when she wasn’t stressed. It was a big decision (adoption is for life!), so I took the night to think about it.
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This cat wasn’t what I was planning to adopt, but I knew from my many years of cat sitting and forming relationships with shy cats that I’d be able to bond with her and give her a good life. Her foster reported that she got along with other cats, so adopting a second cat would still be an option.
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Before bringing her home, I set up a cat room with everything she would need to settle in and decompress. She had places to hide, food, water, litter (all away from each other), toys, vertical space, beds, and a cardboard box to sit in.
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When she arrived, she was so nervous that she hid UNDER one of the cat beds. She was obviously over her fear threshold, so I let her be alone and didn’t force my attention on her. I gave her a few days and only entered the room to refresh her food and
water and clean her litter box.
After the first night, I could see that she was coming out to play. I saw that as a sign that I could slowly start interacting with her. I gave her space and always let her retreat. I wanted her to know that I respected her boundaries and that she was safe. She actually started to open up to me pretty quickly, especially after I discovered how much she loved brushing.
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She was starting to get comfortable with me, but the new space still made her nervous. I let her start exploring slowly on her own in limited spaces. Too much space too soon can overwhelm a cat, so I left all of the doors closed and only let her explore the spaces I couldn’t close off. Once she seemed a little more confident, I’d open a door to a room. Each time I did, she seemed surprised that there was even more space!
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As she relaxed and became more confident, she was open to playing with me. Playing is so important because it builds a cat’s confidence, lowers stress, and creates a bond with the person.
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Once we started playing, I noticed that she really started coming out of her shell. From there, I started clicker training with her, which is another stress-relieving, bonding activity.
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She’s been with me now for just over two weeks, and the change in her personality has been astounding. She wasn’t the cat I was planning on adopting. Many people might not
consider a shy cat, but if you have the right type of household and have the patience to let the cat warm up to you at their own pace, a shy cat can still form a strong bond with you.
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In less than two weeks, Frankie has shown me how playful and affectionate she can be. She has actually become so needy that I am now considering getting her a cat friend, which brings me back to the beginning where I didn’t want to do an introduction. Stay tuned for updates.
Update: After a recent vet visit, Frankie's age is estimated to be more like 6 years instead of only 2!
I'm currently in the process of looking for a companion for Frankie, but haven't found the right match yet. The hunt continues!
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